The Facts
Harley Quinn #18
What the hell is going on? Harley Quinn now features a cast that includes Harley, Poison Ivy, and Bizarro? Bizarro? That is freaking cool, and here I am not reading Harley Quinn like some sort of non-Bizarro-appreciating clown. I suck. I need to try harder at comics. Me am going to be the worst comic book reader in the world! You not see.
Superman #180
So how does Jeph Loeb say thanks to Joss Whedon for the year they just spent working together on the Buffy The Vampire Slayer animated TV show? He makes it so that Dracula is going to tangle with Supes this month. Geoff Johns makes us all wonder when he sleeps, as he finds time in his busy schedule to co-write this issue (replacing Mark Waid as “the continuity guy”). Nope, there’s nothing really funny to say here. For a while I thought it was funny when I wouldn’t get any sleep before writing The Facts, but now I see the error in my ways. After all, a Superman vs. Dracula issue is such an easy target and I got nothing.
Blade #1
Laugh all you want, but I am seriously excited for the Blade sequel this month. The first movie had Traci Lords in it and a lot of shooting. And believe me you, there is nothing I love more than Traci Lords and shooting. And it seems here that Blade #1 is a MAX book! Score! This increases the odd not only of there being a lot of shooting but also leaves a window open for Traci to make an appearance as well. By the way, that Art Of War movie Blade was in sucked. It never explained why a vampire hunter would be working for the UN. Maybe they explain it in Blade II.
Deadpool #65
Gail Simone is 12-years old and writes 50 titles a month. Ok, so she’s older than that and writes fewer comics each month, but it makes you wonder what the hell you were doing wrong when you got out of college. After graduation, I was so confused by bright lights and the phone ringing that there’s no way I could have ever figured out how to plot Deadpool. And when I found out that the artist on the book wasn’t a person, but something called an “Udon”, I would’ve asked what the street value of Udon was. Come to think of it, Marvel would have loved me back then. Until I started stealing from the office and having DMX in to pitch ideas for the Ultimate Ruff Ryders comic. Then they would have made me captain of their softball team.
G.I Joe Volume #1
Cost of a loose Snake-Eyes figure: $12
Bag of M-80s at truck stop in North Carolina: $4
Matches: Free at TGI Fridays
Feeling of satisfaction after you find the right arm that blew across the street: Priceless
Cost of new G.I Joe TP: $24.95, but you can use your MasterCard to buy it, and that’s pretty cool. Right?
The Thing & She-Hulk: The Long Night
This is one of those things where the project was finished way back when, and then shelved for whatever reason. Then Bryan Hitch goes and gets all famous drawing The Authority and The Ultimates, and said project gets the green light. The plot of this thing is that the Thing and She-hulk team-up to fight the Dragon Man, all the time being drawn really pretty by that Hitch guy. Wow. I used “green light” and “this thing” as bad puns, but neglected to make fun of the title, “The Long Night”. I’m so fighting the urge to use a joke that uses the phrase “How long was it?” as the set up for the punch line.
Avengers Icons: Tigra #1
“Icon” huh? Tigra is an Icon now? Does that make Stingray revolutionary? Or Rage post-modern? And I’m just as shocked as the rest of you to see Mike Deodato on a series again. His new stuff looks really good though. And I guess Tigra deserves the sweet art since she’s such an icon now. If this book is half as good as solo Avengers, we should consider ourselves blessed by the Gods Of Comics. Referring, of course, to myself and the two hobos that sit around the fire in front of the Virginia store. I don’t remember exactly when people started referring to us as the Gods Of Comics, but I’m pretty sure they were serious.
Incredible Hulk #38
The Hulk is another comic I’m not reading right now. But I hear it’s very good. Apparently this Bruce Jones guy is one hell of a writer, but I just don’t know based on what I’ve been told about Incredible Hulk since he took over. If he’s so good, then why would he have wasted those first few issues with that whole Trade Federation thing? And I’m not sure I understand why the Hulk is traveling with that young queen, who keeps pretending that she’s her own servant. And why is the Hulk’s midi-chlorian count so damn important? Oh… I see. That’s the plot to Battlestar Galactica. My bad.
The Big Planet Orbit is a monthly newsletter that has features on interesting comics that come out each month. Copies are available for free at any of our store locations.
Here are some of the features of the Big Planet Orbit:
- March Feature: King David, Batman/Deathblow: After the Fire, Hawkman #1
- The Facts: The major superhero books
- Indyville: The best independent and small press comics
- How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love...: Miss Elaine Eous
- In Case You Were Wondering: Ian's mail call